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Posted in Uncategorized on June 18, 2012 by ordinarysinner

I went to Honduras fully expecting to hear from the Lord. I knew He wanted to speak to me. What He was going to say I had little idea. I’ve only felt that way one other time in my whole life. I could almost audibly hear the Holy Spirit calling me to a conversation with the Lord that lead me to understand my terrifying need for grace and my utter dependence on the salvation Jesus offers me.

This time, I could almost hear him again. But He wanted to give me answers for my 1,000 questions about my future with Him.

I’ve known for such a long time that I have been called to serve on the mission field. For such a long time I’ve had no idea where and in what capacity. I hesitate to say THIS IS THE ONE!!! I so eagerly want something to be the one that I can scarcely make such an accusation. But it sure feels that way.

It’ s hard for me to just tell you about the trip so I’ll post pictures and add captions.

Ready to go!

Posted in Uncategorized on June 5, 2012 by ordinarysinner

It’s been a while….

All good blog posts start that way don’t they :) But it has actually been quite a while sense I’ve posted. I don’t really enjoy getting my laptop out so what I can’t do on my phone, I don’t often do. I’ve been wanting to write lately though so I’ll suffer the inconvenience. Jesus has been doing some mighty great things in me lately so I thought I’d share. My flesh has also been real stupid… I don’t know how much of that I’ll share ;)

I started this bible study called “the mind of Christ” a few months ago. We were at the lifeway looking for a bible study for our friend Ashley who we were disciplining. She was looking around on her own so I decided to look around on my own. “I could use something new to study”  I thought. I reached onto the bible study shelf and grabbed the most unattractive clunky bible study I’ve ever seen. It has a solemn painting of “Jesus” on the front and it’s as thick as an old text book. I can not explain why in the world I felt so compeled to read it but I was. I sat down with it and after the first few pages… I was in love. It was smart, thorough, true and completely Jesus centered. I have enjoyed it so much. It’s VERY basic and at times he can almost seem patronizing with his fill in the blanks… “Our Savior’s name is _____” Not really that bad. But what he does through the simplicity is do what you always thought was a no brainer and NEVER DID! It’s shocking. Maybe you did, but I didn’t. He goes through all of those “lists” that describe what a Jesus follower should be like for example….   

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
    If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
(Galatians 5:22-26 ESV)   

He goes through every fruit and defines what it is (TRUTH), what it is not (LIE) and how we manipulate it (PERVERSION). That way you can’t lie to even your self about your fruit. Then you read what God’s word says about the truth of it and you pray for Christ’s help in being more like Him in that way. It’s super good.

This study has really changed parts of my heart I didn’t know I needed changing. That’s the most beautiful part. Their are ailing bits in you that you don’t even know need the healer until you expose them. He is so faithful to heal things.

Jesus has also been loosening up my heart to the idea that the world is not all that different from the time of the disciples AND that the bible is TRUE! Revolutionary yes :) I already knew the bible was true but their are parts in the bible that we read like a story and don’t think about them being as real today as they were when it was written. For instance… and I find this so amusing… in church we are studying Acts. We are in Acts 20 right now particularly. He skipped right over the end of the 19th Chapter. Acts 19:11-16 is particularly interesting. Some demon possessed man attacked some guys and beat them up.. did we talk about it? No. Look at Acts 20:7-16, A guy fell from a high window and DIED! and came back to life. Did we talk about that? No. He could have been knocked out I do think that’s possible but that’s besides the point!! The bible is true… why can’t we talk about everything in church? I think it would wake up some of the sleeping, save some of the dieing and run off some of the fakers. Nothing about that sounds bad.


On a different topic altogether. as you may or may not know (depends on how loyal of a reader you are ;D) I’ve been going to counseling for a while now. I think it’s important to expose everything you can to the light for the Glory of Christ! Some people feel strange about it but I don’t. I’m not ashamed. I went through some trauma when I didn’t know how to proses trauma and as a result I had some unresolved “junk” in my “attic” that needed to be cleaned out. Besides that, it’s great to have someone else know every secret you have and not judge you or command you or suggest to you…  It’s nice to just be heard. Through our conversations Amanda and I agree that I’m gifted in Discernment. It’s so interesting to see how the enemy has specifically targeted that over the years and how Christ has used every targeted attack to train it. It’s hard to accept about myself. I like that I have it but to use it with any confidence is a prescription for … ALONE, which I’ve gotten shockingly used to sorry to say. It’s a great gift if I use it. The problem is I try not to listen sometimes. I’m most worried about the repercussions for dating/marriage. I’m not fooled. I know when I’m talking to a man of honesty and integrity and I know when I’m not. Unfortunately, not just for me,  there are VERY few men of honesty and integrity. It’s something of a joke in the Christian chick world that we’re all looking for a David or a Boas but I really am. A David more specifically. I love that he was the only man in an army that was angry enough that some dumb giant blasphemed the name of God that he walked out and yelled at him about how he was going to chop off his head  and then kill his whole army. Didn’t seem smart but HE TRUSTED GOD! He was willing, his whole life to seem foolish for God’s name and honor. I LOVE that! If their is no passion for Christ in the relationship, if there is no ministry then what good is it? I shutter at the thought of someone being more passionate about me than he is about Jesus. I wouldn’t mind a man yelling at a Giant for calling me names but I want to come second… always.

I’m not sure how I found myself in that rabbit whole…. sorry.


Other news: I’m going to Honduras on Friday. I’ll be gone for a week. Please pray for me! My body is smarter than I think it is and always knows when I travel. It freaks out…. every time. It’s never the same thing from one trip to the next. It going to be quite an uncomfortable trip already I don’t want it to be any more uncomfortable. We’re hiking up Montana de la flor in the Yoro region of Honduras to engage the Tolapani people who are indigenous to the area. We previously thought they were completely unengaged and unreached but there is one missionary already working there. They are mostly unreached due to the language barrier. The people in the lower villages are reached because they speak Spanish but the people in the upper (harder to get to) villages speak Tol which is a mixture of Spanish and Sioux. There is a NT in Tol but they can’t read so it’s difficult to use that as a resource.  We’re going to be building coffee drying racks, helping them plant gardens and putting in stove pipes. In the upper village there is no plumbing or electricity. I’ll be sleeping in my hammock and bathing DOWN BY THE RIVER! hahaha It will be an experience that’s for sure.


I’m praying that the Lord would give me some clear messages about long term missions at this point. I had hoped to be married and go with my husband somewhere long term but life just does not work out like you want it to more often than not. But hey, that’s alright I’ll just go by my self. David did it alone so can I, If I parish I parish! I do hope for some clarity soon. I’m ready to go.

    But the Lord GOD helps me;
        therefore I have not been disgraced;
    therefore I have set my face like a flint,
        and I know that I shall not be put to shame.
        He who vindicates me is near.
    Who will contend with me?
        Let us stand up together.
    Who is my adversary?
        Let him come near to me.
(Isaiah 50:7-8 ESV)

    How beautiful upon the mountains
        are the feet of him who brings good news,
    who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness,
        who publishes salvation,
        who says to Zion, “Your God reigns.”
    The voice of your watchmen—they lift up their voice;
        together they sing for joy;
    for eye to eye they see
        the return of the LORD to Zion.
    Break forth together into singing,
        you waste places of Jerusalem,
    for the LORD has comforted his people;
        he has redeemed Jerusalem.
    The LORD has bared his holy arm
        before the eyes of all the nations,
    and all the ends of the earth shall see
        the salvation of our God.
(Isaiah 52:7-10 ESV)

The good stuff ;)

Posted in Uncategorized on February 27, 2012 by ordinarysinner

Wow… had long blog and it disapeaded. Gotta love that.
I went to this thing with my roommate last night where there was a speaker from an organization called frontiers. I had a chance to speak with his wife befor he began talking and i was so encouraged by her. I hax this moment when i thought one day that will be me sitting in the back of the room being so proud of my partner in crime ;) being so in love with him and with who we are. Mulling over years of amazing adventures for the Lord being in awe of his wisdom. It was a really great moment, i teared up. I felt that much closee to the man that will fight for the good stuff i’ve got and win the rest of my life.

But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. m Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.

The good stuff ;)

Lessons learned from a tred mill…

Posted in Uncategorized on February 23, 2012 by ordinarysinner

1. If it doesn’t hurt and it’s not hard…. your not accomplishing much if anything. This applies to everything worth having I think. For instance the Lord is allowing me to go through/deal with some heavy stuff right now. It hurts most of the time and it’s always hard but now is the time when God is doing his best work. “When you are week, I am strong”

2. You’re flesh is stronger than you think. This is two fold. On the one hand my spiritual flesh is stronger than I ever thought. It’s such a liar. It says “you’re tired” when I’m not. It ways “you can’t do it” when I can. It says “slow down” when I really need to go faster. It says “you’re right” when I’m wrong etc… I’ve learned that screaming at your flesh (internally of course) while trying to accomplish “the impossible” it all becomes so much more possible. It’s even more helpful if you’re screaming the truth/God’s words. On the second had my physical flesh is much stronger than I ever gave it credit for. After a few weeks of attempting to run I run 2 miles everyday and anything less feels like a weak failure. “But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.”

3. It might seem like I’m not be going anywhere but I’m running face first into a much better future. When it seems like we are standing still, as long as we’re pointed in the right direction (toward Jesus) we’re always “moving toward Jerusalem” — for those of you who where not at our dinner table last night Jesus is working around you and you might open your eyes one day and realize you are somewhere else entirely, somewhere better, where you’re supposed to be. ” I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for a hope and a future”.

other things I’ve learned recently…

1. Obedience is ALWAYS honored by God
2. It sucks more than cavities, salt in a cut, a dropped Ice cream cone on a hot day, a crashed computer, an accidentally deleted memory card after an important day, having a sneeze that won’t come out, a sunburn on your bottom and belly, gum in your hair, ink in the washing machine, AND your favorite mug broken ALL ON THE SAME DAY for all of your friends to couple off and leave you the lone ranger…. AGAIN… I feel the winds of change and I’m dreading it.
3. Change is inevitable.
4. There is nothing new under the sun
5. If you were blind…. would you feel the same way? EVERYONE should ask themselves that one!
6. Having the mind of Christ is easy when your life is peachy, it’s doubly hard and far more important when you find little to be peachy about.
7. Regardless…. there is always a bright side. Be on the bright side ;) Have a really super day dear one.

Sing a nonsense song about the first thing you put your eyes on. That’s a free giggle… you’re welcome.

Interesting conversations today!

Posted in Uncategorized on October 26, 2011 by ordinarysinner

Today was full of very interesting conversations!

I just ran into my friend Josh on my way out of Starbucks and we ended up talking about our crazy and startlingly similar theories about time and omnipresence and predestination. The most timely part of the conversation was about relationships and we reached a couple of fairly profound conclusions that I thought I needed to share with ya’ll. I believe that so much I’m staying up WAY past my bed time to pound it out for you.

He’s reading “wild at heart” for the second time. I told him that I’ve read “captivating” and we ended up on the topic of rescue.

“Men” says Josh “ALL feel like we need to rescue, to come through in a major way, to be counted on. That’s the way we are built and ALL men feel that way.” To which I responded “That’s great because every woman wants to be rescued, wants a man to come through for her in a major way, she wants to count on a man” ….. Tracking so far?

He asked me a really stunning question … “ what is it that woman want to be rescued from?” …. I thought for a minute and decided on two things “1. Women are not meant, or built to be on their own. Life decisions can be made alone but we (usually) desire someone to lead us, someone to help us, someone to ‘come through’”. So the first thing I could think of was being rescued from aloneness. The second thing was “all woman want to be rescued from the feeling of being unwanted. All woman have it in them to be wanted, to be pursued, to be told she is lovely etc… “Those were the two things I could think of quickly off the top of my head.

We pondered that for a while and many other things. I said to him “Josh, I think that men don’t understand that if they would just BE men, just act like a man and BE men that we would automatically feel rescued.” He thought that was profound, I thought maybe you would too. We don’t need you to run in on your white horse with your sword drawn to rescue us from some terrible situation. We just need you to BE MEN! So that we can BE WOMEN. It’s all far more simple than we think it is.

Then when I was recounting this with my roommate I thought of myself personally and thought. If I come across as someone that does not need rescuing (Bekah says I do seem very independent and totally fine) then maybe I’m not seeming attractive to the rescuer in men. But I beseech you Brothers in Christ… I will not be as pathetic on the outside as I feel on the inside so that you can rescue me from something obvious. Use your imagination. People are rarely as put together as they appear. Like my conversation with Adam today, he thought I was a snob just from looking at me. I’m not. I might not look like I need to be rescued but… I do.

Anyway… good day! I wish they were all as interesting. Thanks God!

Ya’ll have a goodun ; )

I didn’t hear any banjos :D YAY

Posted in Uncategorized on October 23, 2011 by ordinarysinner

So a couple of my girls and I went camping this weekend. I really wanted to share the pictures and tell you about it so I figured this would be a good time as any for an update.

I want to go camping every fall, it’s rare I can find anyone to go with me. This event is usually the catalyst for dating impatience hahaha. It would be nice to go with boys and it always makes me a little mad I don’t any men in my life. Anyway…. We borrowed some really awesome gear from our friend Cary! He is AWESOME! Can’t thank him enough for the super warm sleeping bag, the headlamp (I felt like a little kid with that head lamp I fell asleep with it on, Amber had to take it off of me when she got up to use the bathroom in the dark :D)

We were not cold! We survived despite all the talk to the contrary :D We went up there without knowing if we’d find a place to sleep but we prayed about it and Jesus provided the perfect spot right on the Appellation trail AND it was only $14 when all the others around were at least $25. We found our own fire wood, had ho-bo pies and smores for dinner. Slept all together in a TINY tent :D and made pancakes and hot tea for breakfast. After breakfast we went for a beautiful 3.4 mile hike, destination… BEAUTIFUL overlook for a lunch pick-nick.

The Lord took such good care of us, we had such an awesome time!

Personally… work is going great!! I’m still raising money for Kenya. I have $1,865 left to raise. I’m feeling a bit nervous about it… the giving has really sort of… stopped. My room mate just got a boob cramp….just thought I’d share :D hahaha.

Enjoy the pictures and the video (the song we had stuck in our heads and sang WAY to much on the trail ;D hahaha OH and one of my fav. movies!)


Posted in Uncategorized on September 25, 2011 by ordinarysinner

God is the provider
God is the sustained
God is the encourager
God is the abundant life giver

God is good! I am so so thankful to all of you who donated to get me my spot on this mission trip. Christ is pleased when we open our fists and freely give to His kingdom, I am proud to have such wonderful friend that boast with me in the cross of Christ. My place is secure both in heaven and on the trip ;D and I am so so happy! Thank you thank you thank you.

I feel so relieved and excited about $450.00 now I have $3,050 to go ;D hahahaha. My next deposit is due on October 26th and it’s a little bit larger… $1,750. So if you’re still praying about it, you can still give. And if you have any fund raising ideas please share them! I am not apposed to working for this money.

God bless you friends! Check out this video, have a blessed day beloved.


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