It’s been a while….
All good blog posts start that way don’t they :) But it has actually been quite a while sense I’ve posted. I don’t really enjoy getting my laptop out so what I can’t do on my phone, I don’t often do. I’ve been wanting to write lately though so I’ll suffer the inconvenience. Jesus has been doing some mighty great things in me lately so I thought I’d share. My flesh has also been real stupid… I don’t know how much of that I’ll share ;)
I started this bible study called “the mind of Christ” a few months ago. We were at the lifeway looking for a bible study for our friend Ashley who we were disciplining. She was looking around on her own so I decided to look around on my own. “I could use something new to study” I thought. I reached onto the bible study shelf and grabbed the most unattractive clunky bible study I’ve ever seen. It has a solemn painting of “Jesus” on the front and it’s as thick as an old text book. I can not explain why in the world I felt so compeled to read it but I was. I sat down with it and after the first few pages… I was in love. It was smart, thorough, true and completely Jesus centered. I have enjoyed it so much. It’s VERY basic and at times he can almost seem patronizing with his fill in the blanks… “Our Savior’s name is _____” Not really that bad. But what he does through the simplicity is do what you always thought was a no brainer and NEVER DID! It’s shocking. Maybe you did, but I didn’t. He goes through all of those “lists” that describe what a Jesus follower should be like for example….
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
(Galatians 5:22-26 ESV)
He goes through every fruit and defines what it is (TRUTH), what it is not (LIE) and how we manipulate it (PERVERSION). That way you can’t lie to even your self about your fruit. Then you read what God’s word says about the truth of it and you pray for Christ’s help in being more like Him in that way. It’s super good.
This study has really changed parts of my heart I didn’t know I needed changing. That’s the most beautiful part. Their are ailing bits in you that you don’t even know need the healer until you expose them. He is so faithful to heal things.
Jesus has also been loosening up my heart to the idea that the world is not all that different from the time of the disciples AND that the bible is TRUE! Revolutionary yes :) I already knew the bible was true but their are parts in the bible that we read like a story and don’t think about them being as real today as they were when it was written. For instance… and I find this so amusing… in church we are studying Acts. We are in Acts 20 right now particularly. He skipped right over the end of the 19th Chapter. Acts 19:11-16 is particularly interesting. Some demon possessed man attacked some guys and beat them up.. did we talk about it? No. Look at Acts 20:7-16, A guy fell from a high window and DIED! and came back to life. Did we talk about that? No. He could have been knocked out I do think that’s possible but that’s besides the point!! The bible is true… why can’t we talk about everything in church? I think it would wake up some of the sleeping, save some of the dieing and run off some of the fakers. Nothing about that sounds bad.
On a different topic altogether. as you may or may not know (depends on how loyal of a reader you are ;D) I’ve been going to counseling for a while now. I think it’s important to expose everything you can to the light for the Glory of Christ! Some people feel strange about it but I don’t. I’m not ashamed. I went through some trauma when I didn’t know how to proses trauma and as a result I had some unresolved “junk” in my “attic” that needed to be cleaned out. Besides that, it’s great to have someone else know every secret you have and not judge you or command you or suggest to you… It’s nice to just be heard. Through our conversations Amanda and I agree that I’m gifted in Discernment. It’s so interesting to see how the enemy has specifically targeted that over the years and how Christ has used every targeted attack to train it. It’s hard to accept about myself. I like that I have it but to use it with any confidence is a prescription for … ALONE, which I’ve gotten shockingly used to sorry to say. It’s a great gift if I use it. The problem is I try not to listen sometimes. I’m most worried about the repercussions for dating/marriage. I’m not fooled. I know when I’m talking to a man of honesty and integrity and I know when I’m not. Unfortunately, not just for me, there are VERY few men of honesty and integrity. It’s something of a joke in the Christian chick world that we’re all looking for a David or a Boas but I really am. A David more specifically. I love that he was the only man in an army that was angry enough that some dumb giant blasphemed the name of God that he walked out and yelled at him about how he was going to chop off his head and then kill his whole army. Didn’t seem smart but HE TRUSTED GOD! He was willing, his whole life to seem foolish for God’s name and honor. I LOVE that! If their is no passion for Christ in the relationship, if there is no ministry then what good is it? I shutter at the thought of someone being more passionate about me than he is about Jesus. I wouldn’t mind a man yelling at a Giant for calling me names but I want to come second… always.
I’m not sure how I found myself in that rabbit whole…. sorry.
Other news: I’m going to Honduras on Friday. I’ll be gone for a week. Please pray for me! My body is smarter than I think it is and always knows when I travel. It freaks out…. every time. It’s never the same thing from one trip to the next. It going to be quite an uncomfortable trip already I don’t want it to be any more uncomfortable. We’re hiking up Montana de la flor in the Yoro region of Honduras to engage the Tolapani people who are indigenous to the area. We previously thought they were completely unengaged and unreached but there is one missionary already working there. They are mostly unreached due to the language barrier. The people in the lower villages are reached because they speak Spanish but the people in the upper (harder to get to) villages speak Tol which is a mixture of Spanish and Sioux. There is a NT in Tol but they can’t read so it’s difficult to use that as a resource. We’re going to be building coffee drying racks, helping them plant gardens and putting in stove pipes. In the upper village there is no plumbing or electricity. I’ll be sleeping in my hammock and bathing DOWN BY THE RIVER! hahaha It will be an experience that’s for sure.
I’m praying that the Lord would give me some clear messages about long term missions at this point. I had hoped to be married and go with my husband somewhere long term but life just does not work out like you want it to more often than not. But hey, that’s alright I’ll just go by my self. David did it alone so can I, If I parish I parish! I do hope for some clarity soon. I’m ready to go.
But the Lord GOD helps me;
therefore I have not been disgraced;
therefore I have set my face like a flint,
and I know that I shall not be put to shame.
He who vindicates me is near.
Who will contend with me?
Let us stand up together.
Who is my adversary?
Let him come near to me.
(Isaiah 50:7-8 ESV)
How beautiful upon the mountains
are the feet of him who brings good news,
who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness,
who publishes salvation,
who says to Zion, “Your God reigns.”
The voice of your watchmen—they lift up their voice;
together they sing for joy;
for eye to eye they see
the return of the LORD to Zion.
Break forth together into singing,
you waste places of Jerusalem,
for the LORD has comforted his people;
he has redeemed Jerusalem.
The LORD has bared his holy arm
before the eyes of all the nations,
and all the ends of the earth shall see
the salvation of our God.
(Isaiah 52:7-10 ESV)